by Mitchel Rey and Allaine Tan, 7 Rizal
When we try to understand a person’s behavior, the biggest mistake we can commit is trying to understand it from our point of view. Doing that often results to an offhand judgement of them based on a single situation. That particular approach also does not consider that two different people could be behaving or acting similarly due to different reasons and personalities.
When we try to understand a person’s behavior, the biggest mistake we can commit is trying to understand it from our point of view. Doing that often results to an offhand judgement of them based on a single situation. That particular approach also does not consider that two different people could be behaving or acting similarly due to different reasons and personalities.
The first reason why people behave the way they do is because all of us have developed a certain image or reputation throughout our life. This explains why others act accordingly or against an image. It also depends if that reputation appealed to them or not.
The second reason is that our subconscious mind directs our actions based on past experiences. For example, if someone was bullied as a child, then he or she may act reserved and be less open to other people in fear that other people will also bully him or her.
The third reason is our human need to be right. We lie to others and to ourselves because we cannot face the truth. We rationalize and justify these lies to make them the “truth”. These lies also lead to decisions made in stressful situations, which then become the ideas that serve as our defense mechanisms. We stick with these lies because they are held in place by a force. This force is caused by our inability or unwillingness to owe up to certain things. We may even hurt other people for us to feel that our ideas are correct.
Guilt and hostility may come from being unable to resolve a conflict and feeling forced to commit an action that the doer feels horrible about. If someone finds out about this particular action, we are then likely to rationalize and justify it. A person may become upset because of a sudden change from what is expected, or if there is a loss of control or understanding of the situation. Our sense of control may be disturbed when somebody else expresses a different point of view from ours and forces their opinion on us or when our ways and capabilities are criticized. To prevent the negative traits of our human nature such as lying, we must sometimes view the world with pure and unbiased honesty. This may help us to see – bit by bit – the truths behind our behaviors and mental distortions. Through this, we may finally understand and live consciously – to be one’s true self in areas where we shut off our vision.
The second reason is that our subconscious mind directs our actions based on past experiences. For example, if someone was bullied as a child, then he or she may act reserved and be less open to other people in fear that other people will also bully him or her.
The third reason is our human need to be right. We lie to others and to ourselves because we cannot face the truth. We rationalize and justify these lies to make them the “truth”. These lies also lead to decisions made in stressful situations, which then become the ideas that serve as our defense mechanisms. We stick with these lies because they are held in place by a force. This force is caused by our inability or unwillingness to owe up to certain things. We may even hurt other people for us to feel that our ideas are correct.
Guilt and hostility may come from being unable to resolve a conflict and feeling forced to commit an action that the doer feels horrible about. If someone finds out about this particular action, we are then likely to rationalize and justify it. A person may become upset because of a sudden change from what is expected, or if there is a loss of control or understanding of the situation. Our sense of control may be disturbed when somebody else expresses a different point of view from ours and forces their opinion on us or when our ways and capabilities are criticized. To prevent the negative traits of our human nature such as lying, we must sometimes view the world with pure and unbiased honesty. This may help us to see – bit by bit – the truths behind our behaviors and mental distortions. Through this, we may finally understand and live consciously – to be one’s true self in areas where we shut off our vision.